I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
