I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
