so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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