why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We need to feng shui this bitch.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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