so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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