Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
