Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
