i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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