You made me cry and you don't even care
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
