she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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