Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
