Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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