OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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