Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
