Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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