Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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