Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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