Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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