yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
