Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
