I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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