That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
