apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
