you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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