Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
