i can't believe i had my finger in that
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
