A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
