and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
