I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
