She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
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