And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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