yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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