How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
