Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
