Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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