Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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