I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
