I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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