You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
