My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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