I'm really into asian looking animals
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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