yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
