you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
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