Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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