so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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