I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
my poor anus
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
