do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
