I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
