woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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