Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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