Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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