I just saw a hot homeless man
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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