Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
