is your mom at the bar?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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