how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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