Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
