..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
false alarm. still invincible.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
