It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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