Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize