I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
