i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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