week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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