So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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