I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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