I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
