p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
