I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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