Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
