Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
