I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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