well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
