Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
ttyl tear gas
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
