I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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